Recently I got banned by a dating website. I don’t like mentioning names but it was a site that heavily advertised itself and had the words ‘Elite’ and ‘Dating’ in it.
I was brutally honest and simply typed the first thing that came to mind when I was filling up the form. I had a response from a Las Vegas millionnaire the very next day. However, to my dismay, when I tried to log in, the site claims that I’ve been banned and that if I wanted to know the reason, I should contact the site administrator! At first, I couldn’t understand why, but after some soul-searching, I came up with some guesses.
Possibly because of mentions in my profile about me being “in a hurry to find love“, due to “biological clock ticking“, being “socially inept” thanks to “long working hours in bank”, and that i “will accept a virgin boy or whose bedroom score is below 2“, is “an aspiring vagabond“.
I think my profile probably read like this:
I’m in a hurry to find love because my biological clock is ticking. Years of working in a bank with long hours has rendered me socially inept, which is partly the reason why I find it so attractive to find a mate online. Who I am looking for. Looking for a partner-in-crime. Prefer a virgin or whose score is less than 2. I am an aspiring vagabond nowadays and would like to travel around the world for free.
What? Humor is unacceptable?
Right then, so far we have ascertained what is NOT ACCEPTABLE on a dating website profile. So everyone, if you don’t want to be banned like me, please DO NOT follow the bad example.
Now I will try to explain to you what is acceptable on a profile.
What is acceptable on a dating website profile:
1. Talk about how much FUN you are. Being fun-loving. Like to have fun. E.g. “I’m just a fun-loving girl who likes to have some fun.”
2. Talk about how casual you are. Combine fun and casual if possible, e.g. “I would like nothing more than to have casual fun with you.”
3. Talk about friendship. How you like making friends. How you have friends from everywhere. e.g. “I like making new friends, from all over the world.”
4. Notice how that sneaky little phrase “all over the world” actually hints at how well-travelled you are? People love that. If you travel a lot, it means that you’re rich.
5. Don’t just ‘like’, show-off how passionate you are about life by injecting “love” into your profile. E.g. “I LOVE travelling around the world!”
6. Better still, use the word “passion” or “passionate” in your profile. It hints at ‘sex’ in a very subtle way. E.g. “I am passionate about new ways to bring potable water and renewable energy to India!”
7. Mention ‘children’. How much you like children, and what you want to do for poor children in famine-striven and diseased countries. E.g. “The most interesting experience in my life was teach English to a class of young children while volunteering in church/in Thailand for my post-graduate research studies.”
So far so good? String them all up and you will have the model profile which goes like this:
“I am a casual and easy-going person. I just LOVE having fun and enjoying new experiences and making new friends all over the world! I am passionate about my work, which is to find new ways to bring potable water to India. God has given me so much. I think the purpose of life is to give back to society, which is why I spent 3 months teaching English to rural children while completing my post-graduate research studies in Thailand.”
Now attached a good photo of you beaming beatifically on a beach. Strong sunlight gives good photographs, remember that.
Good luck!
