Dear [insert Your Ex’s name here]:
I am writing this now as a letter of relationship closure to you. Our [select one or many: lousy/on-and-off/unfulfilling] relationship (or wachamightcallit) [select one: is/has been/will be] officially **OVER** as of [insert Date here]. You will need to come in and [What the Ex Has to Do - For example: pick up their t-shirts] before [insert Date here] or [What Will Happen - For example: your t-shirts will be shredded and used as hamster bedding]
I want to thank you for our past memories (now that I think of it, mostly bad memories) and tell you how much I have NOT enjoyed having you waste my time. Please don’t hesitate to call if you wish to be humiliated by my [insert Current boyfriend’s/Current girlfriend’s name here].
Sincerely,
[insert Your Signature here]
